Okay for the Star Wars fans May the 4th be with you.  Travel the galaxy they said, learn the ways of the force  and play with lightsaber.  As Yoda says “There is no try.  Do or do not” .   That is my current attitude in physical therapy.  For a year and six months I’ve been fighting to be able to start out patient physical therapy to stand up!  I’m happy to announce due to my doctors and I fighting insurance red tape and people who should not have a place in healthcare, I’m finally seeing a real therapist twice a week.  With a special lift for this situation, I’m happy to say I can stand under my own power!  The force is defiantly with me now.  Thank you to the therapists who inspire this every day. A special thank you to all nurses including the ones at my doctors office who helped me fight to get services that are supposedly covered by my insurance. These amazing people wade through things I do not want to think about.  Bring comfort, hope and a warm smile, while keeping up with more patients, who let’s face it most of us admitted to hospital are not usually at our best, than most of us could do.  They run errands, give meds, dodge verbal barbs.  They actually see the doctor, and attempt to carry out their orders and make sure you get the care you deserve.  When they describe nursing on career day, I’m betting this was not the job description that you happily volunteered for.  Nurses should have their own superhero costumes.  CNA, RN, ARPRN, CCRN, and i’m sure I missed some, I apologize,  these people do amazing things everyday, then do it all again tomorrow.

Last and by no means least Mothers Day.  What does it take to be a mom?  Somewhere out there should be a course, boot camp, or crash course for this vital role.  Any woman can have a baby!  That’s what I grew up thinking.  As i’ve grown and matured I have learned that while most women can conceive, and give birth not all moms are created equally.  I was lucky.  My mom is someone to look up to.  I always thought when I grow up that’s what I want to be like. Minus the things she did that made me mad…..lol.   I dreamed as most little girls do of getting married, having a family…  becoming a stay at home mom was my goal after school.  

I had interests in computer sciences, and took business and technology in line with pursuing college.  It just didn’t work out to finish my degree. “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” I don’t remember who said it first anymore, but I moved on.  Met and fell in love with what at the time I thought to be a good choice…..I should have listened to my mother the first time.  So I moved away from home, embarked on a new career oriented life that I was reasonably good at, and started making my way in the world.  Family was always there if needed, and my mom became my best friend now that we stopped arguing.  

This time I listened and took a good long time before marriage. Even with my career I still held that stay at home mom dream.  I wanted to meet my children when they came home from school.  Our house usually smelled like homemade bread, or cookies.  My mom made dinner every night and we ate as a family.  After homework, we played games or perused other projects that were important at school or various after school activities. They were never too busy to help with homework or school projects.  It was so cool when your mom was your scout leader!  Camping, crafts, she did both my Girl Scout Troop and my brothers Cub and Boy Scouts.
That was my dream.  As I look back there must have been some planning by a higher being in my life.  In 2013 we learned to be grateful that we failed.  After many attempts we learned that a pregnancy would have killed me.  For those who don’t know I suffered a burst aneurysm stroke.  The danger I’m told had been there for years, and had it happened during labor it would have severely limited what doctors could do for either of us.

After my stroke I moved back home this time with hubby in tow.  My disabilities make it beyond my abilities to do all the house upkeep my self and as my mom likes to joke as she adds in her age together we almost have the abilities of a single person.  With daddy passing on so unexpectedly, it’s a good fit.  Grannies, as the babies call her loves spending time with the grandbabies.  As I finish therapy we hope to make some changes to the house we didn’t know we’d want or need.  I know from the expressions on their faces, when Grammie hugs you close they feel the same love I still have.  If i’ve forgotten to say it recently, as I often do, Thank you Mom for being there.  For being the parent I didn’t always like but needed. I love you.  I still hold out hope that maybe one day if I cannot have children of my own I can be one of the special moms, who make you feel like this as they knowingly take on the step mom role.

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there finding a way to make it work everyday. Most of all take the time to celebrate her. Don’t forget Grandma’s a lot of whom deserve a Mothers Day card too.

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